Odd Man Out..

When i look 10 Years back, as the subject says, i am the 'Odd Man Out' in the 10th Class; Being Fat and relatively taller, . My class mates were more thin and small then...Which meant that, Whoever does mischievous/naughty things,when teacher was facing the board, the Innocent me will get caught 100%,...

    When the teachers sense some Non-sense happening in the class, they turn to see the Fat me first and i will be the victim for the day. :(...The Lady Teachers have been so harsh to me.

They will start to scold with an Intro.....of describing..How tough there day was...and how hard they planned and prepared for that class.... then it will slowly progress and they get Animated and Shout like anything to make sure that i get more Embarassment from the Next Sections.. too. :( :(

i have been a poor soul throughout... Those small and thin class mates do all kind of prank and i will get caught most of the time.

Being Plumpy and being some what taller meant that i get into troubles more often without doing it actually. i will try to explain my innocence, but being so shy,High Inferiority Complex and more sensitive those days meant that i am not able to justify me and pull me out for the mistake done by some other person. Also, pinpointing a friend or accusing that 'he was the real culprit' to the staff was something Greek,Italic to me.

Most of the time, i won't be able to clear myself from getting caught for someone's mistakes. i perform a 'Murali trying to convince'....kind of attitude. i relate myself to Actor Murali those days, because..i will not be able to express what i intended to like murali does in Tamil Films.

 i struggle for words...Both in English and Tamil :) :)....(I know...what you are saying...now...Neeyaa..Unakkaa...nnu neenga kaekaradhu..kaadhula Vizhudu :) :) )...

The efforts of trying to explain with....'Maam...Naan'....'Actually...i am...'...'Naan..Solradha....Konjam...','Maam...Actually..what happened was...'..'Maam...i Actually haven't done anythin'...will all go in vain...because they might be shouting and the teacher might have been Animated by then. i see a Red Light in their face with full of anger. :)

Like What Kamalhaasan Said in 'Vasool Raja MBBS'...i will be thinking

'Therinja Mozhi Tamizh...Adhula naan Paesunam nu ninaikkum boadhu....Vaarthai....Thadumaatram...' :) :)

i Struggle for words. The Shyness and Inferiority Complex stands tall in me. When you get Scolded for Something, which you haven't done, you feel shame,humiliated. A sense of Guilty creeps in you and you become gloomy. i shout hard inside but couldn't communicate and keeps it inside.

i hear these lines from 'Poongodi Thaan Poothadhamma' Song from 'Idhayam'. So true.

'Manadhukkul Palakodi Ninaivugal irundhaalum

Udhadugal Thirandhaal dhaan Udavigal Pera Koodum'

'Silarukku Silaneram Thunichalgal Pirakaadhu..

Thunichalgal Pirakaamal Kadhavugal Thirakkadhu'

'Thaai Kooda Azhuginra pillaikku dhaanae

Pasiyodu Parivodu Paalootta Varuvaal..
Un veetu Kannadi aanalum kooda
munvandhu ninraal dhaan mugam kaatum ingae...'

Even Now, After Learning a lot about Business Communication, Behaviour,Attitude, Body Language and all Blah...Blah...Blah...Stuffs, the Shyness in me Still persists.

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